No nap

This is the season where I am learning how selfish I am. I want things conveniently. I had no break at naptime today. No break. I want two hours at naptime I don't want to be around somebody 24 hours a day. I want time for me. I have a hard time playing with my kids all the time in the way they need and want and I want to play what I want to play when I want to play and how I want to play. I'm struggling now feeling like these boys are missing out on all of me I don't know how to give it to them. I don't know how to re-charge to have more energy and love and excitement. I feel spent and tired and selfish.
David woke up when I was snuggling Judah. It was a short nap. I went in the basement where I couldn't hear either boy crying, and ran up and down the hallway until my throat hurt.
Sometimes it helps to vent.

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